3 Ways to Put Yourself FIRST

Updated: May 12, 2020

Trust me—it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

We love posting quotes and memes that talk about self-love and self-care but are we REALLY living by it? It’s super important we start matching our words with our actions. We spend a lot of time pouring into others, which is nice but we always get lost in the sauce and forget that we need that same love and attention poured into us. After you’re done taking care of those around you, how do you feel? I mean honestly ask yourself, how do YOU feel?

“As amazing as it is to be a woman who can multitask and help others, we also have to learn how to not deplete ourselves and pour just as much into the development of self as we do others. We only have one life to live and if we aren’t putting ourselves first and making strides to keep a cooler head, then are we really living our BEST lives?”

Just say No…or even Hell No.

I learned this one the hard way. I’m naturally a people pleaser so I have a hard time saying no. I realized once I started saying no I felt A LOT better. We always feel obligated to say yes, especially when our loved ones are involved without realizing we may be hurting ourselves in other aspects. Think thoroughly before saying yes. Is this something you absolutely have to do? Do you honestly even want to do it? What happens if you don’t do it? I can’t count how many times I have said yes to something “just because”…not because I actually wanted to do it but just for the hell of it, I failed to realize it was draining me like a never-ending cycle. We are human. We get tired, we feel drained, we can become overwhelmed…to cope with these feelings we can start by just saying no.

Find You Something to Do

Well, funny short story, anytime someone is getting on my nerves I say, “Listen, go find you something to do!” LOL. But no seriously, find something that makes you happy and do it…do it well. Find any hobby or extracurricular activity that sparks a little passion and creativity in your spirit. It can be as big or as small as you want it to be. For example, I love yoga, painting, reading, fresh air, exploring, music, traveling, etc. Anytime I start to feel myself falling into a rut I refer back to one of these hobbies and I truly believe it makes a difference. “Having a hobby is so much more than just occupying your free time, it’s a time where you truly are enjoying the things that you are passionate about and bringing out the best in you.” If getting up out of bed at 9 PM on a Tuesday to go to Target just to window shop makes you happy…DO IT. If you want to go ice skating but none of your friends want to go…DO IT anyways. Don’t wait for anyone to do anything, ever.

Set Goals…ATTAINABLE ones.

You can’t be headed somewhere and not have any sense of direction. Set real goals that you are determined to reach. Use these goals to fuel your daily routine and activities. Nothing is going to come to us unless we literally get off our ass and get it ourselves. Write your goals down. This may sound cliché but it is 100% necessary. These goals can apply to any area of your life, what matters is that you write them down, make a plan, and conquer the hell out of them. Don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of what you want to accomplish. The more invested and committed you are to your goals the happier you feel about yourself during and after the journey. Your life is your story, no one else is writing in your book but you.

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© 2020 by Essentially Jasmine.