Updated: May 12, 2020
For starters, you don’t. Ah-ha…I’m kidding. Depending on the relationship and context of the situation you may actually feel like you’ll never be able to forgive them. But as we all know and understand, in order to move forward and grow from the experience, we have to forgive.
1. Focus on your peace today.
Nothing feels worse than holding on to resentment from something that happened years ago. Don’t let old experiences and obstacles shape your heart in the present moment. Focus on your peace in this current moment and continue to do what serves you today. It’s okay to acknowledge the past but don’t dwell on it to where it affects your current well-being. Focus on what you can control. By focusing on what you need in the present moment, you remove yourself from past experience and take action towards making yourself feel happy.
2. Focus on yourself and acknowledge how you feel.
Instead of constantly thinking about it, think about yourself. Accept how you feel whether it may be angry, hurt, disappointed, betrayed, etc. Taking responsibility for your feelings allows space for you to feel better about the situation. Instead of feeling like a victim, you begin to feel less resentful and blameful. Own your part.
3. Redirect what you can to love.
Whenever there’s an opportunity to show or give love, do it. Trust me, you’ll feel a lot more at peace by adding a little more love to every aspect of your life. Be thankful. Yes, what they did to you was wrong but what did you gain? What did you learn from that situation? When we see our life’s experiences through a loving, patient lens, our life’s lessons are learned quickly.
When has feeling resentful or hateful towards someone ever made you feel good?
It doesn’t and it won’t ever feel good. Free your energy so you can put it towards what really matters. Forgive doesn’t mean forget. It’s all about taking your power and peace back so you can move on and be at your best.